Sunshine and Mike's Family

Don't let my dog lick you. No, seriously. I wouldn't.

2010-01-08T13:33:00.002-07:00

Hi. I'm Mr. Cat. FYI people: if you leave half eaten cereal on the kitchen table, I will eat it all and then yak all over your carpet. Which you thought was as gross as it could be, until you were wrong. Because cat puke is another level of nasty. You're welcome. 'Cuz I'm pretty. Hey there! It's me, Lola. I was the queen of the castle until you brought that fluffy thing here. I had to think a while before I figured out how to punish you for that. And the sweater. So now I eat cat poop. Pretty much every day. It's awesome. And hey, at least I eat my puke!

Note to youngest

2010-01-06T09:37:00.002-07:00

Do not engage me in a battle of wills. Remember where you got yours. You have, at best, a watered down version of the original.

That is all.

Christmas photos 2009

2009-12-30T15:12:00.004-07:00

Introducing....... Mr. Cat

2009-12-22T11:30:00.004-07:00

No, I'm not Mr. Cat. Keep reading for that stupid show stealer who has ruined my life. Show off.

So here's Mr. Cat. Yes, I know I haven't posted since Halloween. But I'm not going to talk about that because I'm exhausted and supposed to be making Christmas cookies with tons of different frostings. Holy hell.

Anyway. Meadow is starting to question Santa and has asked for things that there is no way I can get. So this is the year she will realize we are full of shit. So... in an effort to soften that blow and in lieu of a turtle (because OMG the set up for those stinky and not cuddly germ carriers is crazy) we decided to get her a cat. Yay parental guilt!

We found this 2 year old at the Dumb Friends League. He was "friendly to dogs and kids". And he was super sweet when we had our meeting in the cuddle room. Turns out he's even cooler than that. He tolerates being shuffled to and fro by various children and doesn't seem to be bothered by lots of noise.

As for Lola, we're mostly sure the jealousy will pass. Mostly.

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T20:56:00.003-06:00

I found the cord!

2009-10-03T19:12:00.002-06:00

In bullets

2009-09-20T20:16:00.002-06:00

Did you know that the MOST AWFUL thing ever when you're 8 is to discover you don't need glasses!?
I thought it would be many, many years before I heard, "I freaking hate you mommy!"
I was wrong.
The offender didn't say freaking.
My parenting skillz are tops. Clearly.
Hunter is playing the drums.
Really.
We don't even have xanax yet.
Really.
I made the Dean's list while I had the shingles.
Student skills > parenting skills.
Mike is seriously the best hubby ever.
He helps SO much so I can do school and work.
I still love my job.
I haven't yet located the cord to transfer pictures.
I still haven't looked.
I have purchased 1 Halloween costume.
Still need to get 2.
Anybody know where I can find a hippie 'fro?
What the hell is a hippie 'fro?
The Broncos are surprisingly enjoyable so far.
I'm out.

blink blink

2009-09-08T18:40:00.002-06:00

Dude. You need to start wiping your butt.

I don't want to!

But you smell like poop. And doesn't it feel icky and itchy?

Yeah! But I just go like this [scratches butt from one side] and this [scratches butt from other side].

*blink blink*

Favorites

2009-09-01T17:44:00.002-06:00

I'm not sure why I've been so quiet here lately. Life is no more busy than usual. I feel guilty that I haven't posted pictures - but I can't find the stupid cord that makes the pictures magically jump from camera to computer. In truth though, I haven't looked very hard.

So we're all back to school. I still LOVE my job. So much I wish I could just be done with school and work. It's so much freakin fun I can't stand it.

So here's a tidbit. It's the best I can do today.

River: Mom.

Me: Yeah?

River: You're not my favorite. I like Daddy better.

Me: O yeah?

River: Yep. Cuz you don't like fishies. Daddy does. Daddy's my favorite.

Me: Oh. Well that's true. I don't like fishies.

River: I like Daddy more.

Me: Yep. He's pretty cool.

*he really is*

We are diaper free, not paci free

2009-08-14T11:32:00.002-06:00

Small steps people.

River is potty trained! We just went to big kid underwear and said this is how it's going to be. And it worked, which was weird. But cool.

I am unprepared to suffer the consequences of doing the same thing with the paci. It's much louder than some wet or dirty underwear. I am not a fan of loud. At all.

Bigs are back in school and happy. Fifth and third grade. Whoa.

I go back in about a week for the last year of classroom work. After that it's just rotations. So exciting!

***********************************************************
Funny story:

Mike gets pulled over with the kids in the car. He may have been going too fast. Shocking, I know.

Anyway.

Cop is asking all of the usual stuff and Meadow pipes up from the back: Daddy, are you going to jail again?

[only funny because she didn't do it to me]

Cop says aggressively: Why would she say that sir? Is there something you need to tell me?

Mike is stuck because, hello, she's a kid and who knows why she said it?! Obviously not based on anything real. She's a kid. They say STUPID stuff. All the time.

Cop came back and gave Mike a warning. Maybe because he was rude after Meadow said that. Who knows.

Either way, funny story.

that JUST happened

2009-08-03T17:14:00.002-06:00

River: Mom! [shoves hand in face] Smell my hand. It smells like pretzels and juice. It's not stinky. Smell it. SMELL IT!!!!!

Me: Thanks buddy. [Feigns sniffing] Yes, I smell pretzels.

River: [Walking off] It smells good. Yum!

not abandoning the blog

2009-08-03T07:44:00.002-06:00

It's been a while, I know.

I haven't felt inspired to write anything lately. Combination of busy and, well, little inspiration I guess.

I have purchased a new camera card - so pictures should follow at some point. Although we went camping this weekend and I totally forgot to bring the camera. I'm thoughtful like that.

Anyway, more soon:)

There are, apparently, questions you don't want answers to

2009-07-03T11:27:00.002-06:00

Me: Dude, where'd you get that gum?

River: From under the table at the restaurant.

Quick & Dirty

2009-07-01T13:35:00.003-06:00

Spending lots of time at the pool.

Lots of time at work.

Learning tons.

Garden has not survived the hail storms. Neither did the roof. Or one of the tvs. Or the gazebo.

On the list of things to do - buy a camera card, sleep, meal planning, get stuff for the 4th!

Still here, just tired and I still haven't bought another card for my camera

2009-06-24T00:03:00.002-06:00

Kids: good
New job: awesome
Pool: excellent
Feet: not used to standing for 8+ hours
Mike: rocking dinner and bedtime duty while I train at new job (he's the best!)

*smiles*

Hail

2009-06-11T20:50:00.003-06:00

Did you know that hail can destroy every screen on the backside of your house while simultaneously destroying your garden and gazebo. Further, it can (apparently) accumulate to a depth of four inches or so from the two open windows on said side of the house. I didn't see any of this happen, I was working. I saw the aftermath.

This also presents the husband with an opportunity to undo all the good I had done teaching the toddler to say, "What the rabbit!" Now my child delights in saying, "What the hail!" (Incidentally, this just makes it sound like he's swearing with a southern accent.)

Whatever dude

2009-06-08T08:19:00.003-06:00

Heard over the weekend:

Hunter - "Meadow is totally capsized by all that stuff in the girly aisle."

We think he meant captivated.

Meadow - "I want to be a therapist. With a an evil laugh. A sort of evil-y, therapist-y combo."

What?

River (to his mom, while angry, during a diaper change) - "Whatever dude!"

Seriously funny.

niblets

2009-06-04T17:24:00.002-06:00

I have successfully transitioned one of River's sayings to: what the rabbit!? and sometimes bunny. So if he says it to you, laugh hysterically please.

Tomorrow is the big bigs last day at school.

I need to buy another picture memory card so you all can have regular picture updates again.

I made more than 50 water balloons with River today for Hunter's last day party. It was wet.

I landed that job, so the kids must've given me good reviews. *lol* I am SO excited about it. It's kind of perfect for me. I probably can't say much about it - I'll see if they say anything next week during orientation.

Oh! But I totally get to wear scrubs. *unabashed glee*

Parenting

2009-06-03T07:42:00.002-06:00

As a parent, mostly I think I do a decent job. I'm not their friend. They don't get in a lot of trouble. They behave at school. You know, despite my bitching and moaning here, they are relatively good kids.

And then there's the part where I seriously suck.

When Hunter was little he learned how to swear. Because he listened to his mother. Yes, I talk like a sailor. It was really funny for a while, but we imagined that it was probably not appropriate and would stop being cute as he got older. Since Hunter and Meadow were so close in age, we never had to un-teach her because I curbed my filthy mouth and she just didn't pick that stuff up.

When they got older, I returned to my blue-streak because, well, I love me some swear words. I know, I'm awful... blah, blah, blah. But you give me a word that rolls off the tongue and has the impact of a good f-bomb and I will convert. **Warning: Justification coming!** Besides, sooner or later they will hear these words and not be allowed to use them, might as well learn the difference in a friendly environment.

So River has started using some pretty colorful language as of late. *shocked horror*

We've tried ignoring it. (After some seriously wrong laughing fits.) We've tried distraction. We've tried giving him alternatives and then laugh hysterically when he says something benign. (Apparently he can gets the difference between sincere laughter and controlled fake laughter.)

The point, I guess, is that I actually am starting to have some remorse here.

See, when you stub your toe and say, "Son of a... (see toddler, remember new pledge, insert new word) fairy toe!" And then he says the following: "Son of a bitch mom, son of a bitch." And then you don't laugh and you say, "No, that's not funny dude." And then he says, **okay, this is really embarrassing and a little shameful so, um, well laugh or something instead of being horrified. because i am HORRIFIED. especially because i totally realize that it's all my fault.** "Fucking bullshit."

And then my eyes popped out of my head and I ignored him and looked at my husband and said, "Did he just say what I think he said?!" And he nodded.

So, one of my worst attributes is being mirrored in a huge way. And I'm going to have to just grow up and quit talking like that.

I thought I was going to be able to sum this up with a funny swear or something, but honestly, I'm so ashamed that he has heard that combo enough to use it spontaneously and in the correct context that I just don't think I can. Because it's not funny.

**Here comes another obnoxious, possibly shameful mocking tone. Really, I just can't help myself.**

So I guess there's only one thing left to do. I have to admit I have a problem.

Hi, I'm Sunshine. And I'm a swearaholic.

Fat and crack

2009-06-02T07:35:00.006-06:00

There is a woman at the pool who I... well, she's awesome. I remember her from last year. I came home after seeing her the first time and told Mike, "Maybe I could wear a modest bikini. There was this woman at the pool today, and if she can do it, I totally could." He looked at me with one of those tentative, um are-you-suffering-from-heatstroke looks. (For the record, I agree. I just don't have the balls to carry that off. Bikini days are over here.)

Anyway, we saw her again this weekend. In all her bikini glory. Here's the thing. It's all tan. And you know, it's not like people don't know you've got extra cushion just because it's covered up. We're not blind. She's never tugging at her tankini when she gets out of the water so it doesn't hug so tightly. She's just out there. And I think it's awesome.

In comparison, we saw a much thinner woman who was... pornographic. If you have on a bikini bottom that only barely covers the top portion of your hind end and the bottom portion then comes together in a way that says, "Holy crack, somebody lost their bottoms!" It's not okay. I don't care how thin you are, I don't ever want to see that much crack. It's not like it was incidental low-riding peeks at crack. It was intentional, full-on crack. Not cool. And she was wondering around the toddler area. Seriously, not cool.

So, for the record: fat=okay; crack=bad.

Don't break my balls!

2009-05-26T09:06:00.004-06:00

The ultimate goal of parenting is to raise independent people who are kind and self-sufficient. Or at least something close to that.

Hunter this morning told me that the shirt I'd set out for him smelled like puke. What this really means is that he doesn't like it. He doesn't think he can just say, "Hey this shirt sucks, I'm going to get another." Instead he makes up some fact that he knows will be unreasonable to contradict. His circular, passive-aggressive thinking drives me insane. Instead of having this conversation yet again, I sighed and told him to get another.

Meadow was wearing flip flops this morning. School rules won't allow flip flops at school. I think it may be an OSHA rule, I don't know. This is a conversation I have had with her 80 billion times. No joke. So this morning when I reminded her that it's a school rule, not my rule, she again took to arguing with me. Yes, me. About the rule. I sighed and asked her to please just put tennis shoes on.

I love my kids. There are so many wonderful things about being a parent. But there are also things that suck the life out of you. Like when you want to raise these independent people, but no one tells you that the path to get them there is really irritating. You want them to look at you with some sort of gratitude, instead you get these looks that say, "I guess you should have thought about that before you spawned us." Yes, I suppose I should have. But babies are so mushy and cute!

It's really funny when a toddler picks up something completely inappropriate from a commercial and repeats it loudly and often. If you've seen any previews to TLC's Cake Boss, the New Jersey cake boss says, "Don't break my balls!" to one of his employees. Why River picked that particular part of the commercial to hold onto, I don't know. Listening to him repeat it over and over is one of the funniest things EVER. Really. So when I'm exhausted from running around after River at a BBQ, I am also acutely aware that he still thinks I'm awesome and that this time is short. I'm going to hold on to that for as long as he'll let me.

Humbling tips for job hunting

2009-05-21T21:08:00.006-06:00

When applying for a job after basically going to school and being a mom for 10+ years, be prepared to lose control of your bowels when they say "Please provide four professional references, at least 2 direct managers."

Do the kids count? (Because I am totally River's bitch.)

Wish me luck!

**Wait. I don't think I want the older ones to review my performance. They have a distorted vision of reality and what does and does not constitute "meanest mommy EVER".

small talk

2009-05-13T10:37:00.001-06:00

dropped river off today and witnessed this conversation:

alex, i had a bath!

you did?!

yeah! smell my hair, alex! smell my hair!

no!

it smells good!

no!

alex! smell my hair!

no!

*lol*

something profane, yet charming (if you know of such a word, let me know)

2009-05-11T16:36:00.006-06:00

This is what life is like in our house right now:

AHHH! OMG! FINALS!
Holy mother of stomach ailments, i think we has the piggy flu here
Yes, I am aware there are all kinds of things wrong with that last bullet point (see first and second bullets and then ponder how much I care)

Huh. I guess that's it. Back in a week or so:)

Wow, I suck. updated

2009-05-04T17:15:00.002-06:00

So I'm trying to figure out why Meadow is crying about something she didn't like on her field trip and I say something like, "Seriously. Did you get hurt? Because if you didn't I just can't imagine what you could possibly have to cry about on a field trip."

They made her look at a dissected frog. That used to be alive. And that made her sad enough she still can't talk about it without crying.

Wow, I suck.

**Later, when Meadow was explaining to Mike about the frog she said this:

"They SAID they use a company who looks for dead frogs, AKA they totally kill frogs."

Is it wrong that I love that I've raised such a good little skeptic?**

Another sweatpants drawer and cancer talk

2009-04-30T18:18:00.000-06:00

I want another sweatpants drawer. I'm not sure what else to say about this, except that it kind of sums up the horror my husband feels almost every time I leave the house. I plan on growing up some day, but not until I have to. And... if I get a job at a hospital and get to wear scrubs... that poor man will never have a properly dressed wife.

***

Now for a completely unrelated story:

Hunter came up last night and asked us to look at his eye because he had a gray line across it. Mike took Hunter's glasses off and said, "Dude, you just need to clean your glasses." I heard Hunter reply, "Oh, because I heard that a gray line in your eye was a sign of cancer."

True story.

A Quick Note To My Dog

2009-04-23T12:06:00.002-06:00

Dear Lola,

You seem like lately you've been losing your mind a little bit.

When you do things like POOP on the bed, it makes it hard to defend you. You know, it's a bed. The one we SLEEP in. Now, while I'm grateful that you made it happen on Mike's side, there is also a limit as to how much I can protect you.

So to be clear: Don't EVER poop on the bed again. M'kay?

Love,

The one who protects you.

Spring Snow

2009-04-20T13:30:00.003-06:00

Easter egg pictures

2009-04-19T17:25:00.002-06:00

Just trying to help out

2009-04-19T17:20:00.001-06:00

Did you know that in order to take advantage of crock pot cooking you have to remember to plug it in?

You're welcome.

Lots of stuff all smooshed in a scattered post

2009-04-15T17:24:00.002-06:00

Mike landed a job! We are back in the work-force!! Yay!!!

We just went to dinner and this is why I don't like to eat out with my kids:

River spilled my water.
River doesn't like to sit.
River likes to touch everything he shouldn't.
River is loud.
Hunter won't sit still.
Like, I asked him to sit down at least 4 times.
The kids always want ridiculous drinks and protest loudly when I say no.
Hunter shoved too much food in his mouth and puked at the table.
No, really, puked. At the table. While I was eating. Next to him.
River asked to go potty.
Then he came back to the table and yelled "I just peed in my pants!"
I'm sure there were more things, but those are the highlights.

I wish, desperately, that I had a secret blog. It would have great stuff on it. (Just like that sentence there...great...stuff.) I'd tell you the titles, but I'm pretty sure even the titles are too racy/inappropriate/outrageous.

In five short weeks I will be enjoying my last summer vacation. I can't wait!

We're asking our kids if they've ever kissed anybody because I heard one of their classmates had already french kissed. FRENCH KISSED. (I'm not sure if you know this or not, but my capacity to be the parent of a teenager is... well, I'm just not ready yet.)

Oprah had a show about the sex talk and there was talk of vibrators for teenage girls. And I am SO NOT THERE.

Meadow said the other day in the car that Hunter should "really try to sleep as much as possible so you don't have to realize the horrible nightmare your life has become". And I said "Where did that come from?" And she said "Chowder". Which is a cartoon I let my kids watch. Clearly, I should be more selective.

Oprah had a show about single Dads and there was a guy whose wife died a day after she gave birth to their first child. And then all my bitching and pseudo-problems seemed so very small.

So, to sum it all up, life is good and irritating and good and hard and good and weird and good and funny and good and scary. (But mostly good.)

Read with enthusiasm

2009-04-09T20:16:00.001-06:00

Mom! I just peed on my hand!!

Awesome dude. Let's wash them now, okay?

Quickie

2009-04-08T20:24:00.002-06:00

River, I need to change your diaper.

No.

Come here NOW please.

No.

Come here or I will come get you.

No!

Fine. I'm going to get you then.

No!

I'm going to lay you down now...

I don't like you! I want to punch you in the face!

(How do you not laugh at that? He's what we like to call, um, expressive.)

Dipstick

2009-04-01T20:56:00.002-06:00

Remember the water bottle? So, Meadow never ponied up the money and it is mine, all mine. Which means it's River's. I mean, let's be real. What the hell am I gonna do with a High School Musical water bottle?

River is potty training.

Which means he runs around naked. A lot. He was doing his business today and then he grabbed his water bottle and asked me for some water. I said no, and asked him to finish pottying. He is easily distracted and went from the potty to the bottle and the sink and back to the potty and so on. Then I turned around and saw him putting his, um, hose in the bottle. I suppose to fill it?! The conversation that followed went something like this:

"Dude! You can't potty in that! Go put your pants on!"

"I need some water!"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you just put your penis in it."

Just another thing, in an increasing large list of things, that I NEVER pictured myself saying.

Weirdness goes around and comes around

2009-04-01T16:28:00.003-06:00

About 100 years ago I worked in radio. Which isn't especially important, except that from time to time at events people would ask for my autograph or something. It was weird. I remember thinking things in my head like That's so sad, or Wow, this person needs real friends, or I hope they're not stalker-ish.

So Jay Cutler and Josh McDaniels and Pat Bowlen all SUCK. This stupid situation is, well, lose-lose for everyone. I wish I could tie them all together in a room and make them stay in there until they get along and figure things out.

How do these things connect?

Well, this morning I was trying to think of all the things that might not suck about Jay Cutler getting traded. This is what I came up with:

He kinda looks like one of my nephews and I like to have crushes on our QBs. I can't have a crush on anyone that resembles a nephew. There are some lines even I can't cross.

I was happy for Greenie (Mike Greenberg of EPSN's Mike & Mike in the morning) because the Jets might get Cutler and Greenie loves the Jets and he kind of loves Cutler. That's right, I was happy for my imaginary radio friend. Like - that was one of my up-sides to this stupid crappy situation.

So sad.

(Still) Laughing out loud

2009-03-23T18:06:00.002-06:00

One of my exam questions today had a patient case and symptoms.

We had to correctly diagnose what was wrong with a 70 year old man.

He had shingles.

Not. Even. Kidding.

Laughing out loud...

2009-03-22T16:15:00.002-06:00

Mike and I both turned 35 in the last week or so.

I get to go first and he follows politely behind. Still, it annoys me that he steals my birthday month. (Not really, but go with me here for a minute.)

Here is a multiple choice question for you:

In order to steal my husband's birthday thunder I _______________.

a. Wrecked my car.
b. Got the shingles.
c. Golfed a hole in one.

So, if I'm guessing it seems like A is the most likely. B and C seem equally ridiculous.

When in doubt, always go with B.

That's right. I've got the mother effing shingles.

Apparently, the warranty has run out and I forgot to re-up.

Getting old rocks.

Conversation

2009-03-10T17:11:00.001-06:00

Mom, what's an ad?

It's an advertisement.

What's that?

An advertisement?

Yeah.

Um, it's what they make when they're trying to sell stuff to you.

[Curious look, clearly not getting it.]

It's like a commercial on paper.

Oh! Cool.

Proof that I think "SCHOOL IS IMPORTANT!"

2009-03-07T13:11:00.003-07:00

So Meadow had to sit in one of my classes the other day because she was home sick and Mike had an interview and I am compulsively unable to skip class for almost any reason because OMG I pay a lot of money to be there. Right?

ANYWAY...

It was the class where we all have to give presentations and we ususally have about three each week. There's a quiz afterwards to make sure you were listening. At any rate, I thought she could probably manage to sit through it without drawing too much attention to the fact that THERE'S A CHILD IN A COLLEGE CLASSROOM! (Although truthfully, people were fascinated by her presence and she was all, "Why are they starring at me?" and I was all, "Um, cuz you're short." Which, apparently pissed her off. *sigh* And writing all this makes me wonder if they'll print out blog posts when they're at the shrink's office as proof of what they went through. But, WHATEVER.)

ANYWAY...

We got through the first two which were about heat stroke and something else super boring. And then the last one was about hemorrhoids. The presenter used phrases like "anal itching" and "anal leakage". So Meadow writes me a note that says: "What is she talking about?" And I write back: "Butt problems." And she writes back: "I wish I didn't ask." And then I totally didn't laugh, which I think means I win some sort of prize.

And that's what I did last Wednesday.

Oh Cottenelle... (we miss you!)

2009-03-01T15:22:00.002-07:00

So we've made a lot of changes. One of those has been downgrading the toilet paper.

Big mistake.

This is what we are used to. This is what we are currently using.

In case you ever need to cut costs. May I suggest cutting back from triple ply to double. Going to single ply is... painful.

You know, I'm here to help.

A Quick Note

2009-03-01T12:20:00.002-07:00

We have the plague here.

Okay, maybe not the plague. But certainly something close.

Random thoughts to entertain you while I suck down some more meds:

*********************
Mike: Dude, you are so irritating.

Me: (cackling) I know!

Me: (again, after more laughing) I think it's really bad because I don't care! (More laughing)
*********************
Meadow: That was like, so re-donkulous.

(I have no idea what she was talking about, but it was funny.)
*********************
River: Mom, can I have a pass? (Pacifier)

Me: Nope, it's not naptime.

River: Mom, can I have a pass?

Me: Not yet.

River: Mom, can I have a pass?

Me: No bud, it's not naptime.

River: Mom, can I have a pass?

Me: No.

River: Mom, can I have a pass?

Me: (silence)
*************************
Mike: Can you take that from her? (the dog)

Me: What does she have?

Mike: Dirty tissue.

Me: Gross.
**************************

Parenting

2009-02-18T17:30:00.003-07:00

River is screaming at me because he's had the last applesauce and the last yogurt.

Apparently, he's not big on the concept of "LAST".

Anyway, in case you were wondering how to get a toddler to totally forget you don't have what they want...

Offer them whip cream with chocolate sauce on top.

It's quiet now:)

This may or may not relate to the last post...

2009-02-08T16:28:00.002-07:00

We've been doing a lot of shopping at Costco lately. Yesterday we went while hungry.

Uh-oh.

I think that's like, you know, driving impaired or something.

Basically, it's phenomenally stupid.

This was on sale for like, eight bucks or something.

Holy balls is it delicious.

A Friend-ly Observation

2009-01-29T12:35:00.002-07:00

One of the most painful parts of my education is that we are required to watch video tape of ourselves doing various tasks and turn in self evaluations.

OMG

Last semester, somehow, we were spared this particular humiliation.

I just completed a 10-12 minute presentation yesterday. So today I watched the video and completed that self-evaluation.

I am horrified by a variety of things - although I must honestly say that I did a very good job overall. But here's the other part. I am struck now by an on-going loop of a Friends episode where they are watching a high-school video of prom or something. Someone is shocked at how big Monica was and she defends herself by declaring that the camera adds 10 pounds. Chandler, of course, delivers then the line "How many cameras are ON you?"

How many cameras were on me!?

Ugh.

Meh.

2009-01-27T18:32:00.002-07:00

I'm tired.

Getting back into the groove of school.

The kids have been just awesome lately - saying all kinds of funny things. None of which I can remember whenever I sit down to type. But seriously funny. I remember laughing.

I'm working like mad this week so I can enjoy SuperBowl Weekend. Somehow, we don't have an exam on Monday so I can actually enjoy. Whoa!

I will try to take pictures on the weekend.

That is all.

Obamicon.Me Rocks

2009-01-22T18:12:00.002-07:00

Pondering

2009-01-22T06:08:00.003-07:00

Is it wrong to eat toast with strawberry preserves for dinner? Because I thought it was delicious.

History

2009-01-20T17:42:00.001-07:00

Thank you President Obama.

Thank you for running. Thank you for believing in all of us.

I believe in you.

Random thoughts...

2009-01-19T14:23:00.002-07:00

Football yesterday rocked. Both teams I was rooting for won - and - huge bonus!!! One of my football boyfriends, Ben, is totally going to win the Super Bowl.

I start school again tomorrow. This means I will miss seeing the inauguration. Boo hiss.

President Obama is taking charge tomorrow! Woo-hoo!!!

I don't know how this will change in years to come... but 7 and 8 year old boys never made me want to claw my eyes out or drink all the liquor in the house. This is exactly the opposite reaction I have to the same aged girls. There's just something about the pitch of their voices... or something. OMG.

My dog smells.

I have been spoiled. I like being spoiled. I miss my 8 bazillion channels and daily coffee from Starbucks. Things could be much, much worse and they are not. For that I am grateful. This does not preclude my twinges of sadness about being spoiled.

I have no pictures today.

Bye now:)

A few pictures

2009-01-13T14:54:00.002-07:00

It's been so long since I've regularly posted pictures that I've forgotten how to get them to go in the order I want. So these are backwards. And I'm far too lazy to re-do it.

Anyway, here's my little goofball:
Discovering the joys of the game boy.

Awwww. Cute.

The after picture of the kitchen.

The before picture when they were still trying to save the wood floors. Note, there were also red walls.

That's all for now:)

A short story to distract you (and me) from reality

2009-01-05T14:16:00.003-07:00

This is a picture of a replica of the place where Mike and I got married.

When we got married my Mom gave us this and I thought, OMG what do I want with an ornament!? (Sorry Mom, I was 24 and kind of a twit.)

Now I look forward to getting it out every year and I am so glad we have this wonderful memento from our wedding day. In fact, I left it on the mantle all year last year, and I will leave it out again this year.

Because just seeing it makes me smile.

Thanks Mom.

A few Christmas pictures

2009-01-03T18:17:00.003-07:00

These were taken on Christmas day. So much has happened since then. Mike and I celebrated our 10th anniversary. Mike's youngest sister got engaged. And then Mike lost his job and our whole world changed.

We will be okay. We are making plans and moving forward. There are worse things.

I saw a quote from Oprah's December magazine that I'm going to share:

Barn's burnt down -

Now I can see the moon.

--Masahide (17th-century Japanese poet)

Ch-ch-changes...

2009-01-02T09:56:00.002-07:00

We are downsizing.

Note to friends & family: starting next Wednesday we won't have a land-line. So if you need to get us, call our cells. If you don't have 'em, leave a comment or email and I'll get them to you. We'll have unlimited text so text away. Minutes are limited so if you want to have a heart to heart - call after 7 pm or on the weekend! Or if you're on Sprint I think mobile to mobile is free. Yay! Otherwise, be prepared to be ignored. *wink*

I know I've been promising pictures... GET OFF MY BACK PEOPLE.

Sorry. I need to take some. I've just been bad about it. Preoccupied.

Later!

I'm not that great without at least an entire cup of coffee. For real.

2008-12-28T19:32:00.002-07:00

So Meadow comes down this morning after I've had about three sips of coffee. Our conversation went something like this:

Mom, how come this snow globe that Santa gave me last year says "Made in China" on the bottom?

Maybe there are elves in China?

{annoyed silence}

Let me see it. Huh. Well have you ever heard of out-sourcing?

{more annoyed silence, and laughter from husband}

Well that's when people need help to get all the work done, so they get others to help. Santa's got to have a lot of presents. And Wiis!! Santa doesn't make those - he gets them from Nintendo. So see, he totally gets help. So maybe he got help from China.

{still annoyed}

OMG. I don't know.

{rolls eyes and walks upstairs}

[yelling after her] Maybe you could write him a letter and ask him!

***

So you see how I'm not that great without coffee. *sigh*

Nutcracker '08

2008-12-24T12:04:00.004-07:00

I have tried for the better part of the day to post Meadow in the Nutcracker. Apparently it is too long and will need editing. So here's something else I got today. I call it "life with sick toddler."

Merry Christmas!!!

Snippet

2008-12-24T07:47:00.001-07:00

Momma, Momma! Santa is comin' to town!

Yeah! He's coming tonight!

No!! He's coming to TOWN!

Blunk drogging

2008-12-23T22:14:00.003-07:00

Yeah. So I should post pictures and stuff. Also, I should tell you about how school went. Except they haven't posted all my grades yet. And I've taken a few pics, but not a lot. Also... I've had a lot of rum. OMG I LOVE the rum.

River has strep. Big kids are disease free so far. Still have a few things to do for the holiday. Bugger off if you're judgy. I'm busy!

More tomorrow!

Hello there

2008-12-14T09:16:00.002-07:00

Finals will be done late Thursday. I have purchased stocking stuffers and absolutely nothing else. So Friday, I will be sweaty and in need of several drinks after having joined all the other clearly brain damaged people who are still shopping. Then Meadow has dress rehearsal for the Nutcracker and performances all weekend.

Things that are on my radar:

Take pictures for blog.
Pretend that construction isn't going on and that I actually have counters and appliances.
Craft an internet Christmas card so I feel less guilty about not sending out cards every year.
Wrap presents.
Beer. Or maybe rum... so many decisions...
Enjoy not studying.
Hang out with kids:)
Blog.
Celebrate 10th anniversary with hubby.

Regular blogging should resume shortly.

Merry merry!

Go comment please

2008-12-11T11:48:00.002-07:00

I read Rude Cactus every day. Today he's going to donate 50 cents for every comment he gets in the next 24 hours to Fisher House, which I think is pretty cool. So I'm taking a study break and I hope you'll follow the link and make a comment.

Thanks!

It's the "year of water damage"

2008-12-10T15:57:00.002-07:00

So the wood floor in the kitchen is ruined. (What possesses builders to do that anyway?) There were industrial fans and the kitchen was walled off and it will be out of commission again when we fix it... but that's all I have to say about that for now because finals start Friday and go through next Thursday, so I should be studying. Thus, you get no pictures or stories. Soonish though. Pictures AND stories.

Promise.

Things that make you go hmm

2008-12-03T11:15:00.002-07:00

So we have these exams where we interact with standardized patients.

The paperwork I reviewed before the patient came in said that the patient was a 60 year old female. When the patient actually came in, she was in her late 20's, early 30's and she had a ring through her nose - like a bull - not on the side. Which is cool, but distracting.

I bet you didn't know that acting is a required part of my education.

I can't wait to volunteer for this kind of stuff after I graduate.

Also, when I'm 60, I'm so totally gonna get my nose pierced!

***I promise I'll start taking pictures as soon as finals are over!***

Snippet

2008-11-23T20:19:00.003-07:00

Today River and I were going up the stairs. He got up about two of them before he turned around and said, "I'm too heavy mama."

Then he reached out his arms for me to carry him up the stairs.

And I did.

Do Not Call

2008-11-18T15:46:00.003-07:00

Remember this? Yeah. Me too. So I'm always curious who is calling because we just don't get that many calls any more. Love that do-not-call list. Anyway, curiosity got the best of me and I picked up the phone. And there, on the other side of the line, my "unknown caller" was a recording offering me a free DVR and installation in up to four rooms of my house! Except, that, again I ALREADY PAY THEM FOR THAT. So I pressed 1 and waited to find out why they were calling me and if I could please get off that list. And then I was connected to a very nice lady in India who, when she discovered that I probably wanted something she couldn't give me, promptly HUNG UP ON ME.

I'm pretty sure my contract runs out this summer.

Any bidders for the next one?

p.s. One more call and I'm naming names.

Frosty

2008-11-16T16:27:00.005-07:00

This is Frosty. He wanted to pose with Hunter, but Hunter just wanted to get back to his game.

River thought Frosty was kind of cool. Kind of, except when he stole his chair.

Frosty thought Dad's broken ankle was a bummer and tried to cheer him up.

Frosty felt a little squeezed, but was far too polite to say anything.

Then he got his seat back. Yay!

Then the Merry Chrismoose totally stole his seat, clearly indicating that it's on.

This is what happens when school sucks up all my brain cells. Cool or sad? Depends on your perspective I suppose.

For Real

2008-11-14T13:00:00.001-07:00

If you expect me not to post on my blog or surf the net during lecture... you must be compelling in some small way.

So Very Proud

2008-11-04T21:05:00.002-07:00

Eight years ago I stayed up late in to the night and I cried. I cried when they called the election for George W. Bush.

Four years ago during the Democratic convention I was watching a keynote speaker named Barack Obama, whom I had never heard of before, and I cried. I cried because I was moved that someone could speak so elegantly about bringing people together when things were so bitterly divided.

Tonight, as they called this historic election, I cried. I cried because I was so happy and proud that we have a leader who represents what I believe.

Thank you America. Tonight I have more hope than I've had in a long time.

You rock.

Snotty

2008-11-03T05:59:00.001-07:00

I'm used to getting snot rubbed all over me. I'm not new at this mom thing. So when River came and rubbed his snotty nose on me, I just made sure there weren't any huge boogers. Glamorous, eh? I also said something along the lines of "Ew, gross dude!" River ran off and I didn't think anything of it.

And about 30 seconds later he came back with a brand new roll of toilet paper and furiously shoved a wad near the snot mark he left on my shirt.

Seriously, does it get any cuter than that?

Not a lot; a couple links

2008-11-02T15:48:00.003-07:00

Tired. Couldn't sleep last night. Still have to function like a grown-up. Yuck. So... I don't have anything except my mad, mad love for Wyatt Cenac.

Go see this.

Then go see this, because it's still funny.

Vote people!

Ciao.

A couple pictures. Very busy. Suck it people.

2008-10-29T20:31:00.002-06:00

Awww. Aren't they cute? Seriously, the only one I've captured of him so far.

Cute little pug.

I didn't even have to alter this. I just suck at taking pictures THAT much. But it turned out pretty cool this one time...

More pictures after Halloween if I remember to take the camera. No promises. Head is brimming with information.

I have lots of boyfriends

2008-10-19T08:10:00.002-06:00

Here's my newest boyfriend's latest interview.

How do you stop yourself from just wanting to hug him!?!

Even if you're sad that I'm voting - vote. It really matters that more people participate. Also, you don't get to complain if you don't vote. What more could you ask for?!

Happy Blogoversary

2008-10-17T17:19:00.002-06:00

So, apparently I missed it, but I started blogging about a year ago. 10-12-08 to be precise. It seems like only yesterday, and also about a hundred years ago. Probably it feels this way because I feel like I've neglected the old blog lately. Truthfully, I'm going to continue to post lightly until Christmas break. You see, I spend about a billion dollars on school and daycare, so I really should make an effort to do it well. Because someday I'm going to have to pay those student loans back and it could really be hard if I don't have a lucrative job.

Things I plan to do:

Take some pictures of the kids so you can at least see their cute little faces.
Um, study and then study some more.
Check the mail for my mail-in ballot.
Take the kids on a walk.
Sit down and write one of the many papers that are due in the very near future.
Procrastinate writing stupid papers because I actually hate writing. For real.
Feel bad about not writing stupid paper.
Start laundry during guilt phase of not writing stupid, stupid paper.
Focus on negative political ads so as to distract self from writing stupid, vile paper.
Watch Grey's Anatomy while pretending not to remember horrible paper.
Do the dishes and clean toilets because clearly they have priority over irritating paper.
WRITE THE &*^$^%$@x PAPER ALREADY.

So I'll get on that picture thing.

Drunk Pumpkin

2008-10-12T18:28:00.004-06:00

School is crazy busy and I haven't taken many pictures. So I have to rely on whatever I can for post material. Mike forwarded this picture to me and I thought it was hilarious. So now I'm sharing with you!

Let me tell you about the time I put a tampon up my nose...

2008-10-04T11:22:00.000-06:00

So I was on my way to school last week and I needed to blow my nose. So I grabbed my last Starbucks napkin and blew. And then I got a bloody nose. Thing is, I had just used my last napkin. So, since I was wearing my white lab coat and professional attire, I did what any resourceful idiot in rush hour traffic would do. I found a beat-up lonely tampon from my purse, ripped it open and shoved it up my nose.

Not a drop of blood hit my pristine white lab coat.

Sometimes you just have to read good stuff (that's right, I said stuff, give me a break - my brain is full)

2008-10-02T09:28:00.001-06:00

Read this.

Yeah, I'm bossy. So what.

Just some random Hobo...!?

2008-10-02T06:16:00.001-06:00

The kids and I were talking about the blog the other day and Hunter was really interested in the world map that shows where all the hits on the site come from. Then the conversation with Meadow went like this:

Have we had one from Hawaii?

Yep.

We have family in Hawaii?

No. Well, not that I know of. Just somebody checkin' it out.

So, some random hobo is lookin' at our blog?

Um, no. Just random people. Besides, where is a hobo going to get a computer?

Maybe they saved their pennies.

Maybe they did.

A link that you shouldn't follow if you're conservative and your feelers get hurt easily

2008-09-29T21:03:00.001-06:00

Check this out.

Parental Supervision Advised

2008-09-27T08:17:00.000-06:00

Hunter and Meadow were sick and had to stay home a week or so ago. Mike took the day off to stay with them because HE'S THE BEST HUSBAND EVER. And also, I really needed to be at school. I wanted to let him sleep as long as possible, so before I left with River I told the kids they could get breakfast and not to get Daddy unless they really needed to get him. They asked if they could make toast and I said yes, "but you know you're not allowed to cook anything else, right?" Nods assured me this was understood.

So when I left the house at 6:30, I was surprised to hear my phone ring a few minutes later.

It was Mike.

Apparently the toaster was set really high. So when it burnt the toast it set off the fire alarm. Mike was rudely awakened to a fire alarm and his daughter screaming her head off in the kitchen.

On the upside, the house wasn't burning down.

Dancing With the Stars, an update

2008-09-23T21:07:00.002-06:00

I love Lance Bass. And the judges were mean tonight. Boo hiss!

**Updated**

OMG I love Warren Sapp too!!!

A reason I'm old OR Why my grades are about to take a nosedive

2008-09-22T20:13:00.002-06:00

I LOVE Dancing with the Stars.

So much, that when they dance well... I totally cry.

p.s. The Cheetah girl got robbed. (A few seasons ago. I will NEVER let it go.)

An economy story

2008-09-21T15:48:00.002-06:00

In the spirit of deregulation (Big business Republicans), the banks around here (Mike) decided to extend loans that were, perhaps, questionable (to Meadow). She secured a loan of $3 to purchase one High School Musical water bottle. Then the bank (Mike) sold the original loan to another bank (me). The questionable buyer (Meadow) decided to default, even though she could have paid, she decided she didn't want to. This caused the new owner of the loan (me) to repo the water bottle. Now I have a water bottle that is no longer worth $3, what with High School Musical being so yesterday. Oh, and it's used. Now since the bank (me) purchased too many of these loans, and now I have the rights to tons of crap I really don't want and can't use because it holds virtually no value, I should suffer consequences... right? And somehow I didn't notice the problem until it was in the BILLIONS. But then, the best thing ever happened. The government decided to socialize business and totally saved my ass. So now, you, the American public own a tiny little piece of that High School Musical water bottle. And I still get to keep my job, because you're going to pay for all those bad loans that I bought even though I knew they were risky.

Congratulations.

Bits & Pieces

2008-09-16T17:32:00.002-06:00

Me: What do you think you want to be when you grow up? Are you still thinking you might be a ballet teacher?

Meadow: A millionaire!

Me: But how are you going to make that money? What job?

Meadow: I don't want a job, I just want money!

Me: You're going to have to get a job to get money.

Meadow: I'll just keep cleaning my room and getting money from you.

Me: That's not gonna get you to a million sweetie.

Meadow: What!?

Me: Yeah, I know.

Meadow: Well I'll just keep saving and I won't spend ANY money.

Me: Okay.
**********************************************************************

Me: If you don't spend any money when you're a millionaire, how are you going to pay for your house?

Meadow: A house?

Me: To live in.

Meadow: I'm living with YOU!

Me: Even when you're old?

Meadow: Are you saying I can't?

Me: You can stay until you don't want to anymore.

Meadow: Cool.
**********************************************************************

Hunter: *gags*

Me: Do you need to puke?

Hunter: Yeah, then I'm going to eat.

Me: Okay. Can you go puke away from the dinner table while we're eating?

Hunter: Sure. But when I'm done I want to eat.

Me: No problem dude.
***********************************************************************

River: Popsicle?

Me: You want a popsicle?

River: Cheese stick?

Me: You want a cheese stick?

River: Popsicle?

Me: You want a popsicle?

River: Cheese stick?

Me: You want a cheese stick?

**repeat as often as necessary, with no end in sight**

Study break = garden photos

2008-09-14T14:05:00.003-06:00

We planted nine tomato plants this year. Meadow and I are the only ones who like raw tomatoes that aren't in pico de gallo. There are so many, but she and I eat them like apples. Yummy! I really like this one because you can see the reds.
If summer was a plant, this is what she would look like.
Or maybe this...
I liked the bee in this one, although he was fluffier in person.

One of the morning glories that killed the tomatillo plant. Totally worth it.

The pumpkin seems to have gotten about as big as it's going to get. It looks like it's starting to turn a little yellow/orange in spots. Stay tuned...
Study break over.

Tom Brokaw rocks my world. Shut up, I'm totally serious.

2008-09-13T20:43:00.002-06:00

Seeing Obama was awesome. I didn't really write about it because I'm so busy stuffing so much stuff into my head for school, I just don't have as much time as I would like to reflect. And that's still true.

But there's something else that was fun for me that night. You see, having worked in radio, I kind of got over the whole meeting famous people thing. Rock stars are just like you & me except they are way cooler and they've got more cash. Then when we lived in Iowa, we got to meet all kinds of political people. So now that's a little less exciting too. BUT. I have a reverent feeling for news people. OMG I saw Diane Sawyer and Charlie Gibson and George Stephanopolis and Wolf Blitzer and Donna Brazille and, and, and. So while that was nice, I LOVE (IN ALL CAPS FOREVER AND EVER LOVE) Tom Brokaw. I saw him bopping to music in between broadcasts or during commercials. I still smile thinking about it.

Then, this week, when I looked down at my Starbucks cup on my way to school, this made my day:

The Way I See It #130

It will do us little good to wire the

world if we short-circuit our souls.

There is no delete button for

racism, poverty or sectarian

violence. No keystroke can ever

clean the air, save a river, preserve

a forest. This transformational new

technology must be an extension of

our hearts as well as of our minds.

The old rules still apply. Love your

mother - Mother Earth.

--Tom Brokaw

Journalist

Love him. Have a good week!

Pictures! At last!

2008-09-08T19:25:00.008-06:00

So I finally brought the camera in the house from the car. Now the magical little cord that puts them into the computer can do what it does... and we have pictures.

This is what Hunter does when I try to take a picture. (Gets yelled at by life guard to quit running.)
Jelly bean.
Little dude.

Again, the girl one.
Ah ha! Got him.
He's got his moobie stars on.
A rare glimpse of the Mom.
That was one of our last days at the pool before it closed.

School is really busy this year. There is so much info, I just don't have as much time as I did last year. Once we get into a groove, I'm sure I'll figure out how to carve more time out for fun things - like blogging.

All is well. Remind me to tell you why I hate the school nurse some time. For real.

We're putting up Halloween decorations this weekend. That's as big as the plans are going to get for now. I will take more garden pictures soon. We've got sunflowers and the pumpkin keeps getting bigger.

Well, that was pretty disjointed, but I don't have time to edit, must cram in a little more during Bronco game.

Later.

Toddler speak

2008-09-03T05:55:00.000-06:00

heppi-cocker = helicopter

Still here, just insanely busy

2008-09-01T13:03:00.002-06:00

So... it's been busy. I will try to post once a week while school is in session.

Quickly:

It's the last day the pool is open. So we're home for lunch and nap, but will be swimming again later as long as the weather holds. I will attempt to take pictures.

School is awesome and awful. You know, you really have to study. Gross! As a side note, people have asked me if I will use the Dr. title when I'm done. The answer is F*** YES. I am paying a ton of cash and working my a** off. So, yeah.

Oh, and the BEST THING EVER!!! My sister-in-law, Lori, scored tickets to see Obama on Thursday for us. (Thank you!) I had been waitlisted and had given up all hope of going. If I figure out how to transfer pictures from my phone, I'll post them later. In short, it was fantastic.

Well, I'm going to put the little one down for a nap and dig into some homework. More (at least pictures) later.

River, sky, dog and plants

2008-08-21T20:31:00.002-06:00

Say what? You're in charge? How come no one asked me what I thought? Really wish you could see the next three in person. It's so much better.

She thought she wasn't getting enough blog time.
Pumpkin progress.

Yum.
We planted sunflowers late. I was afraid we wouldn't get flowers. I think they're coming...

When creativity fails, fall back on weird kids

2008-08-21T12:30:00.003-06:00

Random thoughts posing as a post

2008-08-19T10:14:00.001-06:00

There is something wrong with having to repeatedly ask your husband if he's sure nobody followed him home from a soccer game.

I, resident teeth snob, just had my first cavity ever. Mike was pissed that they didn't have to give me painkiller. He said it doesn't qualify as a "real cavity" unless Novocain is used. Whatever. (Who's the snob now?)

River likes to drink pool water. Last week he drank a lot. Then he puked. In the pool. Where people were swimming. Good times.

Meadow started ballet again yesterday. I can't put her hair in a bun because it's too short. Hope it grows enough by Nutcracker time.

Hunter is testing boundaries lately. Age appropriate, I'm sure. I wish it weren't also annoying.

Mike is in Minneapolis this week. I miss him already.

The pumpkin is huge! I haven't taken a new picture yet, but I plan to soon.

We tried to convince Hunter to try swim lessons. He said no because "that leads to swim team". Oh, the horror.

River is such a fun little person. He's exhausting, but wonderful.

I start school again next week. I feel the internet withdrawal already. I'm excited to have some time to myself.

For those of you who have toddlers: River has finally started to tolerate cartoons and he LOVES the Backyardigans and Wonder Pets. Now I can't get the songs out of my head. Wonder Pets! Wonder Pets we're on our way...

[Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!]

Do You Like Waffles

2008-08-15T22:02:00.001-06:00

This is the latest thing the kids have been singing over and over and over and over. It's so totally NOT annoying.

A conversation at the pool (or, how toddlers wear you down)

2008-08-13T19:37:00.003-06:00

Mom, Hontanna!

Hannah Montana?

Yup. (points to spiderman towel)

Oh, that's spiderman. Not Hannah Montana.

Spider?

Sort of. SpiderMAN.

(shakes head) Hontanna.

Spiderman.

Hontanna!

Spiderman.

HONTANNA! HONTANNA!

Okay.

Pictures again

2008-08-12T12:52:00.004-06:00

We've never grown pumpkins before so I'm kind of in love with this thing. It hasn't even been a week since the last picture and it's gotten tons bigger! Cucumber.
I *love* this picture. He's always trying to see the pictures and it's much harder to take them now.
When the kids got home from the first day of school on Friday I was all, let's take pictures and pretend it was this morning. Meadow was confused.

Then River kept making it hard. This make look cute, but ask Hunter how his toes felt after the little "rammer" made contact.
I put River in his room.
Today he wanted to be like his "Big bigs" (big kids).
He knows he's cute.

Can you believe he's only 2?

Another garden picture post

2008-08-09T13:50:00.000-06:00

Here is our first pumpkin. Zucchini!
Our jalapeno plants didn't really do well, but this was pretty.
So yummy!
Pumpkin flower.

Video of the boating

2008-08-08T21:03:00.000-06:00

Kids pictures

2008-08-08T20:56:00.000-06:00

Meadow making chicken. Hunter wanted to help!
What she means is: Seriously? I'm cooking, enough with the camera lady.
He's sailing!
Boat repairs?

I eeeeeat it!

2008-08-08T13:32:00.002-06:00

THIS is exactly why I heart Jeff Lewis

2008-08-05T21:20:00.003-06:00

Go here.

And also, Bravo has my heart and soul forever and ever for such delicious TV candy. Yum.

Cease and Desist

2008-08-01T12:52:00.003-06:00

Dear Child One and Child Two:

Please, I want you to stop. Stop bickering. Stop trying to prove how much cooler you are, how much stuff you know, how much stuff the other one doesn't know.

I promise that when you get older these things won't seem as important as they do now.

In the meantime, for the sake of your mother's sanity, please refer to this: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. This is something that will serve you well into adulthood. You might as well get on it now.

Love,

Mom

Lurky-loo

2008-07-31T10:43:00.001-06:00

Is it just me or does it totally creep you out when people peer over your shoulder?

BACK OFF. IS CREEPY. EVEN IF I BIRTHED YOU, IS NOT OKAY. EVEN IF YOU ARE HUSBAND, IS WEIRD, MAKES HAIR STAND ON END. GO AWAY. OR TALK TO FACE. PEERING OVER SOMEONES SHOULDER IS VERSION OF PERSON WHO TALKS TO CLOSE TO FACE AND INVADES PERSONAL SPACE. OR TOUCHY TOUCHERSON. PLEASE STOP BEFORE I AM FORCED TO POST IN ALL CAPS FOREVER AND EVER AMEN.

Perhaps I should lay off the coffee.

This one is for darklao and my mama

2008-07-30T15:01:00.000-06:00

Dudes. You have to check out this post on this blog. SO FUNNY.

Sunshine and Mike's Family

Don't let my dog lick you. No, seriously. I wouldn't.

Note to youngest

Christmas photos 2009

Introducing....... Mr. Cat

Happy Halloween

I found the cord!

In bullets

**blink blink**

Favorites

We are diaper free, not paci free

that JUST happened

not abandoning the blog

There are, apparently, questions you don't want answers to

Quick & Dirty

Still here, just tired and I still haven't bought another card for my camera

Hail

Whatever dude

niblets

Parenting

Fat and crack

Don't break my balls!

Humbling tips for job hunting

small talk

**something profane, yet charming** (if you know of such a word, let me know)

Wow, I suck. **updated**

Another sweatpants drawer and cancer talk

A Quick Note To My Dog

Spring Snow

Easter egg pictures

Just trying to help out

Lots of stuff all smooshed in a scattered post

Read with enthusiasm

Quickie

Dipstick

Weirdness goes around and comes around

(Still) Laughing out loud

Laughing out loud...

Conversation

Proof that I think "SCHOOL IS IMPORTANT!"

Oh Cottenelle... (we miss you!)

A Quick Note

Parenting

This may or may not relate to the last post...

A Friend-ly Observation

Meh.

Obamicon.Me Rocks

Pondering

History

Random thoughts...

A few pictures

A short story to distract you (and me) from reality

A few Christmas pictures

Ch-ch-changes...

I'm not that great without at least an entire cup of coffee. For real.

Nutcracker '08

Snippet

Blunk drogging

Hello there

Go comment please

It's the "year of water damage"

Things that make you go hmm

Snippet

Do Not Call

Frosty

For Real

So Very Proud

Snotty

Not a lot; a couple links

A couple pictures. Very busy. Suck it people.

I have lots of boyfriends

Happy Blogoversary

Drunk Pumpkin

Let me tell you about the time I put a tampon up my nose...

Sometimes you just have to read good stuff (that's right, I said stuff, give me a break - my brain is full)

Just some random Hobo...!?

A link that you shouldn't follow if you're conservative and your feelers get hurt easily

Parental Supervision Advised

Dancing With the Stars, an update

A reason I'm old *OR* Why my grades are about to take a nosedive

blink blink

something profane, yet charming (if you know of such a word, let me know)

Wow, I suck. updated

A reason I'm old OR Why my grades are about to take a nosedive

THIS is exactly why I heart Jeff Lewis