Don't let my dog lick you. No, seriously. I wouldn't.

Hi. I'm Mr. Cat. FYI people: if you leave half eaten cereal on the kitchen table, I will eat it all and then yak all over your carpet. Which you thought was as gross as it could be, until you were wrong. Because cat puke is another level of nasty. You're welcome. 'Cuz I'm pretty. Hey there! It's me, Lola. I was the queen of the castle until you brought that fluffy thing here. I had to think a while before I figured out how to punish you for that. And the sweater. So now I eat cat poop. Pretty much every day. It's awesome. And hey, at least I eat my puke!

Note to youngest

Do not engage me in a battle of wills. Remember where you got yours. You have, at best, a watered down version of the original.

That is all.

Christmas photos 2009

Introducing....... Mr. Cat

No, I'm not Mr. Cat. Keep reading for that stupid show stealer who has ruined my life. Show off.

So here's Mr. Cat. Yes, I know I haven't posted since Halloween. But I'm not going to talk about that because I'm exhausted and supposed to be making Christmas cookies with tons of different frostings. Holy hell.

Anyway. Meadow is starting to question Santa and has asked for things that there is no way I can get. So this is the year she will realize we are full of shit. So... in an effort to soften that blow and in lieu of a turtle (because OMG the set up for those stinky and not cuddly germ carriers is crazy) we decided to get her a cat. Yay parental guilt!

We found this 2 year old at the Dumb Friends League. He was "friendly to dogs and kids". And he was super sweet when we had our meeting in the cuddle room. Turns out he's even cooler than that. He tolerates being shuffled to and fro by various children and doesn't seem to be bothered by lots of noise.

As for Lola, we're mostly sure the jealousy will pass. Mostly.

Happy Halloween

I found the cord!

In bullets

• Did you know that the MOST AWFUL thing ever when you're 8 is to discover you don't need glasses!?
• I thought it would be many, many years before I heard, "I freaking hate you mommy!"
• I was wrong.
• The offender didn't say freaking.
• My parenting skillz are tops. Clearly.
• Hunter is playing the drums.
• Really.
• We don't even have xanax yet.
• Really.
• I made the Dean's list while I had the shingles.
• Student skills > parenting skills.
• Mike is seriously the best hubby ever.
• He helps SO much so I can do school and work.
• I still love my job.
• I haven't yet located the cord to transfer pictures.
• I still haven't looked.
• I have purchased 1 Halloween costume.
• Still need to get 2.
• Anybody know where I can find a hippie 'fro?
• What the hell is a hippie 'fro?
• The Broncos are surprisingly enjoyable so far.
• I'm out.

**blink blink**

Dude. You need to start wiping your butt.

I don't want to!

But you smell like poop. And doesn't it feel icky and itchy?

Yeah! But I just go like this [scratches butt from one side] and this [scratches butt from other side].

*blink blink*

Favorites

I'm not sure why I've been so quiet here lately. Life is no more busy than usual. I feel guilty that I haven't posted pictures - but I can't find the stupid cord that makes the pictures magically jump from camera to computer. In truth though, I haven't looked very hard.

So we're all back to school. I still LOVE my job. So much I wish I could just be done with school and work. It's so much freakin fun I can't stand it.

So here's a tidbit. It's the best I can do today.

River: Mom.

Me: Yeah?

River: You're not my favorite. I like Daddy better.

Me: O yeah?

River: Yep. Cuz you don't like fishies. Daddy does. Daddy's my favorite.

Me: Oh. Well that's true. I don't like fishies.

River: I like Daddy more.

Me: Yep. He's pretty cool.

*he really is*

We are diaper free, not paci free

Small steps people.

River is potty trained! We just went to big kid underwear and said this is how it's going to be. And it worked, which was weird. But cool.

I am unprepared to suffer the consequences of doing the same thing with the paci. It's much louder than some wet or dirty underwear. I am not a fan of loud. At all.

Bigs are back in school and happy. Fifth and third grade. Whoa.

I go back in about a week for the last year of classroom work. After that it's just rotations. So exciting!

***********************************************************
Funny story:

Mike gets pulled over with the kids in the car. He may have been going too fast. Shocking, I know.

Anyway.

Cop is asking all of the usual stuff and Meadow pipes up from the back: Daddy, are you going to jail again?

[only funny because she didn't do it to me]

Cop says aggressively: Why would she say that sir? Is there something you need to tell me?

Mike is stuck because, hello, she's a kid and who knows why she said it?! Obviously not based on anything real. She's a kid. They say STUPID stuff. All the time.

Cop came back and gave Mike a warning. Maybe because he was rude after Meadow said that. Who knows.

Either way, funny story.

that JUST happened

River: Mom! [shoves hand in face] Smell my hand. It smells like pretzels and juice. It's not stinky. Smell it. SMELL IT!!!!!

Me: Thanks buddy. [Feigns sniffing] Yes, I smell pretzels.

River: [Walking off] It smells good. Yum!

not abandoning the blog

It's been a while, I know.

I haven't felt inspired to write anything lately. Combination of busy and, well, little inspiration I guess.

I have purchased a new camera card - so pictures should follow at some point. Although we went camping this weekend and I totally forgot to bring the camera. I'm thoughtful like that.

Anyway, more soon:)

There are, apparently, questions you don't want answers to

Me: Dude, where'd you get that gum?

River: From under the table at the restaurant.