Still here, just tired and I still haven't bought another card for my camera

Kids: good
New job: awesome
Pool: excellent
Feet: not used to standing for 8+ hours
Mike: rocking dinner and bedtime duty while I train at new job (he's the best!)

*smiles*

Hail

Did you know that hail can destroy every screen on the backside of your house while simultaneously destroying your garden and gazebo. Further, it can (apparently) accumulate to a depth of four inches or so from the two open windows on said side of the house. I didn't see any of this happen, I was working. I saw the aftermath.

This also presents the husband with an opportunity to undo all the good I had done teaching the toddler to say, "What the rabbit!" Now my child delights in saying, "What the hail!" (Incidentally, this just makes it sound like he's swearing with a southern accent.)

Whatever dude

Heard over the weekend:

Hunter - "Meadow is totally capsized by all that stuff in the girly aisle."

We think he meant captivated.

Meadow - "I want to be a therapist. With a an evil laugh. A sort of evil-y, therapist-y combo."

What?

River (to his mom, while angry, during a diaper change) - "Whatever dude!"

Seriously funny.

niblets

I have successfully transitioned one of River's sayings to: what the rabbit!? and sometimes bunny. So if he says it to you, laugh hysterically please.

Tomorrow is the big bigs last day at school.

I need to buy another picture memory card so you all can have regular picture updates again.

I made more than 50 water balloons with River today for Hunter's last day party. It was wet.

I landed that job, so the kids must've given me good reviews. *lol* I am SO excited about it. It's kind of perfect for me. I probably can't say much about it - I'll see if they say anything next week during orientation.

Oh! But I totally get to wear scrubs. *unabashed glee*

Parenting

As a parent, mostly I think I do a decent job. I'm not their friend. They don't get in a lot of trouble. They behave at school. You know, despite my bitching and moaning here, they are relatively good kids.

And then there's the part where I seriously suck.

When Hunter was little he learned how to swear. Because he listened to his mother. Yes, I talk like a sailor. It was really funny for a while, but we imagined that it was probably not appropriate and would stop being cute as he got older. Since Hunter and Meadow were so close in age, we never had to un-teach her because I curbed my filthy mouth and she just didn't pick that stuff up.

When they got older, I returned to my blue-streak because, well, I love me some swear words. I know, I'm awful... blah, blah, blah. But you give me a word that rolls off the tongue and has the impact of a good f-bomb and I will convert. **Warning: Justification coming!** Besides, sooner or later they will hear these words and not be allowed to use them, might as well learn the difference in a friendly environment.

So River has started using some pretty colorful language as of late. *shocked horror*

We've tried ignoring it. (After some seriously wrong laughing fits.) We've tried distraction. We've tried giving him alternatives and then laugh hysterically when he says something benign. (Apparently he can gets the difference between sincere laughter and controlled fake laughter.)

The point, I guess, is that I actually am starting to have some remorse here.

See, when you stub your toe and say, "Son of a... (see toddler, remember new pledge, insert new word) fairy toe!" And then he says the following: "Son of a bitch mom, son of a bitch." And then you don't laugh and you say, "No, that's not funny dude." And then he says, **okay, this is really embarrassing and a little shameful so, um, well laugh or something instead of being horrified. because i am HORRIFIED. especially because i totally realize that it's all my fault.** "Fucking bullshit."

And then my eyes popped out of my head and I ignored him and looked at my husband and said, "Did he just say what I think he said?!" And he nodded.

So, one of my worst attributes is being mirrored in a huge way. And I'm going to have to just grow up and quit talking like that.

I thought I was going to be able to sum this up with a funny swear or something, but honestly, I'm so ashamed that he has heard that combo enough to use it spontaneously and in the correct context that I just don't think I can. Because it's not funny.

**Here comes another obnoxious, possibly shameful mocking tone. Really, I just can't help myself.**

So I guess there's only one thing left to do. I have to admit I have a problem.

Hi, I'm Sunshine. And I'm a swearaholic.

Fat and crack

There is a woman at the pool who I... well, she's awesome. I remember her from last year. I came home after seeing her the first time and told Mike, "Maybe I could wear a modest bikini. There was this woman at the pool today, and if she can do it, I totally could." He looked at me with one of those tentative, um are-you-suffering-from-heatstroke looks. (For the record, I agree. I just don't have the balls to carry that off. Bikini days are over here.)

Anyway, we saw her again this weekend. In all her bikini glory. Here's the thing. It's all tan. And you know, it's not like people don't know you've got extra cushion just because it's covered up. We're not blind. She's never tugging at her tankini when she gets out of the water so it doesn't hug so tightly. She's just out there. And I think it's awesome.

In comparison, we saw a much thinner woman who was... pornographic. If you have on a bikini bottom that only barely covers the top portion of your hind end and the bottom portion then comes together in a way that says, "Holy crack, somebody lost their bottoms!" It's not okay. I don't care how thin you are, I don't ever want to see that much crack. It's not like it was incidental low-riding peeks at crack. It was intentional, full-on crack. Not cool. And she was wondering around the toddler area. Seriously, not cool.

So, for the record: fat=okay; crack=bad.