Waiting

I hate waiting. Which doesn't really seem true if you know that I am chronically, irritatingly early for everything. I guess I hate waiting when it's about something utterly out of my control. Waiting to find out where the company will transfer us this time, waiting for medical results, waiting, waiting, waiting.

I like to make decisions. I like to take what is known and make the best decision to move forward. Good news, bad news... whatever.

Last Wednesday I took my scariest final. The class was pass/fail. 75% on each individual exam passes. Anything below does not. The results of all the other exams in the class don't matter. The scores in all the graded classes don't matter. If you have a bad day on this day - you repeat the year. The whole freakin' year. SCARY. (I mean really, what's a $50,000 day... right? O.M.G.)

When I walked out of one section of that exam, I knew I had made a mistake. A mistake that would make other questions wrong because they depended on the right answer to begin with. There was nothing I could do at that point but wait. Wait to see if I had been right on enough of the rest of the sections. Wait to see if I would move on with my classmates, or if I would have to figure out how to pay for another year of school and daycare.

Today we got a message that said they'd post the scores after they had a chance to meet with those who had failed. They said they sent e-mails to those students. I nervously, obsessively checked my inbox all day long.

No message.

Which, I believe, means that I can take a huge breath and move on to the next year. So, tonight, finals are (finally!) finished, and I am moving forward.

I am done waiting on this one.

Beer me.