Dipstick

Remember the water bottle? So, Meadow never ponied up the money and it is mine, all mine. Which means it's River's. I mean, let's be real. What the hell am I gonna do with a High School Musical water bottle?

River is potty training.

Which means he runs around naked. A lot. He was doing his business today and then he grabbed his water bottle and asked me for some water. I said no, and asked him to finish pottying. He is easily distracted and went from the potty to the bottle and the sink and back to the potty and so on. Then I turned around and saw him putting his, um, hose in the bottle. I suppose to fill it?! The conversation that followed went something like this:

"Dude! You can't potty in that! Go put your pants on!"

"I need some water!"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you just put your penis in it."

Just another thing, in an increasing large list of things, that I NEVER pictured myself saying.