We just went to dinner and this is why I don't like to eat out with my kids:
- River spilled my water.
- River doesn't like to sit.
- River likes to touch everything he shouldn't.
- River is loud.
- Hunter won't sit still.
- Like, I asked him to sit down at least 4 times.
- The kids always want ridiculous drinks and protest loudly when I say no.
- Hunter shoved too much food in his mouth and puked at the table.
- No, really, puked. At the table. While I was eating. Next to him.
- River asked to go potty.
- Then he came back to the table and yelled "I just peed in my pants!"
- I'm sure there were more things, but those are the highlights.
I wish, desperately, that I had a secret blog. It would have great stuff on it. (Just like that sentence there...great...stuff.) I'd tell you the titles, but I'm pretty sure even the titles are too racy/inappropriate/outrageous.
In five short weeks I will be enjoying my last summer vacation. I can't wait!
We're asking our kids if they've ever kissed anybody because I heard one of their classmates had already french kissed. FRENCH KISSED. (I'm not sure if you know this or not, but my capacity to be the parent of a teenager is... well, I'm just not ready yet.)
Oprah had a show about the sex talk and there was talk of vibrators for teenage girls. And I am SO NOT THERE.
Meadow said the other day in the car that Hunter should "really try to sleep as much as possible so you don't have to realize the horrible nightmare your life has become". And I said "Where did that come from?" And she said "Chowder". Which is a cartoon I let my kids watch. Clearly, I should be more selective.
Oprah had a show about single Dads and there was a guy whose wife died a day after she gave birth to their first child. And then all my bitching and pseudo-problems seemed so very small.
So, to sum it all up, life is good and irritating and good and hard and good and weird and good and funny and good and scary. (But mostly good.)