You seem like lately you've been losing your mind a little bit.
When you do things like POOP on the bed, it makes it hard to defend you. You know, it's a bed. The one we SLEEP in. Now, while I'm grateful that you made it happen on Mike's side, there is also a limit as to how much I can protect you.
So to be clear: Don't EVER poop on the bed again. M'kay?
The one who protects you.