Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Fat and crack

There is a woman at the pool who I... well, she's awesome. I remember her from last year. I came home after seeing her the first time and told Mike, "Maybe I could wear a modest bikini. There was this woman at the pool today, and if she can do it, I totally could." He looked at me with one of those tentative, um are-you-suffering-from-heatstroke looks. (For the record, I agree. I just don't have the balls to carry that off. Bikini days are over here.)

Anyway, we saw her again this weekend. In all her bikini glory. Here's the thing. It's all tan. And you know, it's not like people don't know you've got extra cushion just because it's covered up. We're not blind. She's never tugging at her tankini when she gets out of the water so it doesn't hug so tightly. She's just out there. And I think it's awesome.

In comparison, we saw a much thinner woman who was... pornographic. If you have on a bikini bottom that only barely covers the top portion of your hind end and the bottom portion then comes together in a way that says, "Holy crack, somebody lost their bottoms!" It's not okay. I don't care how thin you are, I don't ever want to see that much crack. It's not like it was incidental low-riding peeks at crack. It was intentional, full-on crack. Not cool. And she was wondering around the toddler area. Seriously, not cool.

So, for the record: fat=okay; crack=bad.

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