Wednesday, June 3, 2009


As a parent, mostly I think I do a decent job. I'm not their friend. They don't get in a lot of trouble. They behave at school. You know, despite my bitching and moaning here, they are relatively good kids.

And then there's the part where I seriously suck.

When Hunter was little he learned how to swear. Because he listened to his mother. Yes, I talk like a sailor. It was really funny for a while, but we imagined that it was probably not appropriate and would stop being cute as he got older. Since Hunter and Meadow were so close in age, we never had to un-teach her because I curbed my filthy mouth and she just didn't pick that stuff up.

When they got older, I returned to my blue-streak because, well, I love me some swear words. I know, I'm awful... blah, blah, blah. But you give me a word that rolls off the tongue and has the impact of a good f-bomb and I will convert. **Warning: Justification coming!** Besides, sooner or later they will hear these words and not be allowed to use them, might as well learn the difference in a friendly environment.

So River has started using some pretty colorful language as of late. *shocked horror*

We've tried ignoring it. (After some seriously wrong laughing fits.) We've tried distraction. We've tried giving him alternatives and then laugh hysterically when he says something benign. (Apparently he can gets the difference between sincere laughter and controlled fake laughter.)

The point, I guess, is that I actually am starting to have some remorse here.

See, when you stub your toe and say, "Son of a... (see toddler, remember new pledge, insert new word) fairy toe!" And then he says the following: "Son of a bitch mom, son of a bitch." And then you don't laugh and you say, "No, that's not funny dude." And then he says, **okay, this is really embarrassing and a little shameful so, um, well laugh or something instead of being horrified. because i am HORRIFIED. especially because i totally realize that it's all my fault.** "Fucking bullshit."

And then my eyes popped out of my head and I ignored him and looked at my husband and said, "Did he just say what I think he said?!" And he nodded.

So, one of my worst attributes is being mirrored in a huge way. And I'm going to have to just grow up and quit talking like that.

I thought I was going to be able to sum this up with a funny swear or something, but honestly, I'm so ashamed that he has heard that combo enough to use it spontaneously and in the correct context that I just don't think I can. Because it's not funny.

**Here comes another obnoxious, possibly shameful mocking tone. Really, I just can't help myself.**

So I guess there's only one thing left to do. I have to admit I have a problem.

Hi, I'm Sunshine. And I'm a swearaholic.

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