Tooth Fairy

So I'm listening to Holly Robinson Peete and her husband on XM this week in the car. The story was about the Tooth Fairy and how they had forgotten to "help" her a few times and it had resulted in all kinds of trickery to right the situation. A couple of things crossed my mind. First, WOW, I can't believe that hasn't happened to me. Second, Ohmigod, I ROCK because that hasn't happened to me.

Cut to last night.

Meadow finally pulled her front tooth out. I've got pictures. They're deliciously bloody and gross. (Squeamish people may want to avoid looking at those.) Anyhoo... this morning, Meadow bounded down the stairs, eager to see if the tooth fairy left her something in the cup where she left her tooth.

Oops.

The tooth fairy used to leave cash under their pillows. She has become progressively more and more anxious about waking the children, so she started leaving cash in the kitchen in a cup where the tooth bathes in cold water. The kids have left elaborate notes (in the past) about not wanting the money to be wet, so please leave it outside the cup or empty the cup when you take the tooth. PLEASE!

So my mind raced to some of the distraction techniques the Peetes had used from the story I heard in the car. I asked her if she had looked under her pillow as I edged towards my purse. As she dashed upstairs, I grabbed the first bill I saw and stuffed it in the cup of water. WITH THE TOOTH STILL IN THERE. When she got back downstairs, sad faced, I asked if she'd found anything. Then I said, let's look in the cup! I grabbed it and said, "Oh wow Meadow! She left you $5! Oh, we forgot to leave a note about not putting money in the water. Here, let me get that for you. I can dry it off." And I slipped the bill out of the water and put the cup WITH THE TOOTH out of sight and out of reach.

This all happened before I had one sip of coffee. And I am so happy I heard that story this week. Because I don't think pre-coffee me could have come up with something that quickly if I hadn't heard how someone else did it. Because I don't rock. In fact, I think this means I SUCK. Because I had a warning JUST THIS WEEK about JUST THIS SITUATION.

WHATEVER.

On to the pictures...

This is her preferred reading position.
Mom, LOOK!
See the blood bubble?! Oh, and the tooth.
All cleaned up and ready to go to ballet. Toothless.

Dude, come give me the face for when I told you Dad would invite your friend to go to Dave & Busters next weekend.
Everybody get down to River's face level for a picture.
She is so sweet. Mostly.
I am so cool without my tooth!

I am looking forward to a brand new SNL tonight and to studying and studying and studying.

By the way, I've been looking and looking and I can't find any clips online of Darrell Hammond and the I. am. bulletproof. skit. If you can find it, please send me the link.